Monday, February 22, 2010

Grief, and how people handle it

I see the people waiting outside the ICU everyday. Relatives, mothers, daughters, wives, fathers and sons. My room being on the floor above the ICU, and adjacent to the relatives waiting room, one of the first things i see in the mornings sometimes is scenes of grief.I've almost developed a blind spot to that area, and i try my best not to look in that direction as i pass by. And i cant help but notice, how differently people handle grief.
Some people are composed. They try to be scientific about it and ask the doctor calculated questions.some people ask nothing and just listen to what the doctor is saying, not questioning his decisions. And then there are some people, who try their best to look grief stricken, appropriate to the situation, but their apparent sorrow doesn't reach their eyes. some resort to God, loudly and vocally. Some wallow in their own sorrow, silently without a word. Some blame others, looking for a outlet for their sorrow. Others accept the faith of their loved one.
But whatever the exterior emotions, only the person knows, what he truly is going through.
And I feel guilty sometimes in judging someone based on these superficial appearances.

3 comments:

Nikesh Rathi said...

"And I feel guilty sometimes in judging someone based on these superficial appearances."

I am not even remotely related to medicine and probably unqualified for a perspective ... but just wondering ... need you be even a bit judgmental about people out there who are often fighting things probably outside their control?

Sahil said...

Nice one. This reminds me when I was doing my medicine posting in Karad. the first thing that a resident had asked me to do was go announce to the relatives the fact that the patient is no more. It is such a difficult thing. He insisted that it was one of the first steps towards becoming a doctor!!!

Neesa said...

being judgemental is definitely wrong, but sometimes you cant stem the thoughts that arise in your mind.
but thinking about things i see and observing people definitely makes me able to understand them better.