Grief, and how people handle it

I see the people waiting outside the ICU everyday. Relatives, mothers, daughters, wives, fathers and sons. My room being on the floor above the ICU, and adjacent to the relatives waiting room, one of the first things i see in the mornings sometimes is scenes of grief.I've almost developed a blind spot to that area, and i try my best not to look in that direction as i pass by. And i cant help but notice, how differently people handle grief.

Some people are composed. They try to be scientific about it and ask the doctor calculated questions.some people ask nothing and just listen to what the doctor is saying, not questioning his decisions. And then there are some people, who try their best to look grief stricken, appropriate to the situation, but their apparent sorrow doesn't reach their eyes. some resort to God, loudly and vocally. Some wallow in their own sorrow, silently without a word. Some blame others, looking for a outlet for their sorrow. Others accept the faith of their loved one.

But whatever the exterior emotions, only the person knows, what he truly is going through.

And I feel guilty sometimes in judging someone based on these superficial appearances.

Medicine: then and now

I am lucky enough to see a balance which is so so vital, for me to develop completely and to model myself as a good physician. There are few senior doctors who through their ethical and genuine practices have ensured that this balance remains.

It was one such physician who made me realise the differences in practicing today and 30 years ago.

Then physicians were demi gods, even if self proclaimed ones. They would the entire the premises of hospitals with ringing of bells and a hush would spread, with the word that the big boss has come. The relatives of patient dare not question or ask what the treatment was or why their patient was not doing well. Why the expenditure was so much, or why their patient had died. The doctors were doing them a favor by treating them at all. And asking them or to question their actions was a cardinal sin, which was unthinkable.

Whereas now, the scene is so different. Everyone these days is wary of doctors. Their actions are always under scrutinity. And he/she is just another person offering you a service that you are paying for, and as a consumer it is your right to know what exactly you are being offered and to take to court or to sue, if you are not satisfied.

I wonder which era I would have liked to practice in. The current one with all our comforts and ease of diagnosis and treatment. Or the bygone days of ignorance and clinical tools being our only guide, and scarcity of treatment options.

Its something I can only ponder on.